Scariest moment

There are times in our life, where we might have made the wrong choices, it's okay if it's wrong and when you realize it afterwards, if it helps you to change you to become a better person, why not?

I admit that I'm rebellious, I'm stubborn, sometimes don't listen to others, I did something out of curiosity, taking the challenges by my own without considering the circumstances.

Last Saturday night I was scared to dead (just kidding), actually, I do not know why out of sudden the images fly through my mind, I saw I'm knocked by a car while running, dead or alive I do not know, it just scared me and I wept. I do not know what to do. I sms-ed someone who is more experienced hopefully, I'll get response on how should I handle this. It really fears me. Seriously, I thought I'm going to die the next day during the run. The next day, similar thing happened, the difference is that the car came very near to me but didn't knock me down. Thank God! Then I sms-ed my friend, saying I'm alive! Hallelujah!

The next was yesterday, also Saturday night, I was really stubborn and insisted to run, it's my principle to run in what ever condition after I've register for the run. Thus, I took whatever medication that is prescript to me by doctor a few hours before the run. I was taking it as experience, 1st time night run, also a challenge running in not-so-well condition. I really thought it was okay, I only cough a few times before the run started, I'm already in the 'kandang' by that time waiting for flag off.

It was fine during the run, I was running as if it was in the morning, keep running as usual, and stopped at drinking station to drink water. Everything was fine until I finished the run. I was searching for plain water, but couldn't find one, waited for the 1901 hotdog, then proceed to goodies bags collection. I realized I was really tired, no choice, I have to drink the 7up revive (not cold, normal room temperature) from the goodies bag. I was gasping for air, hoping for plain water. After finish eating the hotdog with 7up revive, I didn't feel good, I felt more thirsty. There come my sis brought her water bottle of plain water, I drank it. No changes, I still felt the dryness at my throat, thirsty.

After all the laughter and picture taking, I felt my stomach aching. Ouch! So painful that I rushed to the Maybank's toilet. In the midst of rushing to the toilet, 50 meter of fast pacing, I started to slow down as I'm losing my sight and hearing bit by bit (it was the scariest moment of my life), this continued until I reached the toilet and I hold on the toilet door, The vision was blurred, I went to the Male's toilet (realized it after I saw a man standing there) then I turned back to the female toilet, I was standing at the entrance, it wasn't clear, but I could catch that someone saying behind me, "Hello!", it meant to ask me to excuse myself from the entrance, then I moved in a little bit, standing a while, I'm still waiting for my turn, then this lady asking, "Are you okay? You look pale." (So kind of her, thanks for asking) I shook my head. I couldn't speak, maybe I have no energy to speak. Then I went in the toilet immediately, seated on the toilet bowl, waited. I asked Jesus for help. I don't want to stuck in the toilet with little vision and hearing. I barely see and hear any voice/noise. It was silent or just I'd totally lose my hearing. I didn't remember I lose my sight, there is a moment of darkness. Those are symptoms of fainting, but I didn't actually fainted. I was still seated on the toilet bowl. I silently speak from my heart, repeatedly, "God, help me! Jesus help me!" (I just haven't give up my life yet, since I still have the will power to survive and asking God for help - Even though I always say "I'm ready, take me anytime" It just different this time that I realized I'm not ready to die!) This experience reminded me of Justin's stuck in the lift twice experience, he felt that he's dying, yet he is not ready to die yet. Then slowly, my sight and hearing were restored, bit by bit, until it's totally clear both eye sight and hearing! Sweating, cold sweats. I thought I was fine, so I went out, washed my hands. And walked out. There my sister walking to my direction, out of sudden I felt my stomach aching. Since, they're still hanging around the place, I took her advice and went to toilet again, this time, my faeces came out. Released! I thought I was alright. However, it's not over, while we were walking back to the car, I started to lose my sight and hearing again. So scared, that I put my arm hand on my sister's shoulder. I think I was pale again. She said, "Why your hand so cold?" I didn't answer, "I just manage to say in louder voice, repeatedly, "I'm losing my sight and hearing!", meaning to ask her to hold me tight. She led me into the car, I seated. As the car moved, I felt the pain on my stomach again! Crying in the heart, "Please reach home as fast as possible!", I need the toilet.

Quickly, rushed into the toilet and released! Finally, it's over for that night! Bathed & ate and slept.

Lesson learned, I shall never run on medication and while I'm still sick. It drained off all my energy. It's madness, totally life risking experience and totally inadvisable! This experience had built me up, added in my life to use for good in the future...

I finally understand the frust and fear that the late Marie Curie felt when whe lost her eye sight and hearing during her younger time (not a good feeling), and survived for years after that.

Thank God for saving my life again and again! I must really appreciate this life and live healthyly...I'm having flu though...rest well...

I'm hoping for better Saturday nights in future...