Scariest moment

There are times in our life, where we might have made the wrong choices, it's okay if it's wrong and when you realize it afterwards, if it helps you to change you to become a better person, why not?

I admit that I'm rebellious, I'm stubborn, sometimes don't listen to others, I did something out of curiosity, taking the challenges by my own without considering the circumstances.

Last Saturday night I was scared to dead (just kidding), actually, I do not know why out of sudden the images fly through my mind, I saw I'm knocked by a car while running, dead or alive I do not know, it just scared me and I wept. I do not know what to do. I sms-ed someone who is more experienced hopefully, I'll get response on how should I handle this. It really fears me. Seriously, I thought I'm going to die the next day during the run. The next day, similar thing happened, the difference is that the car came very near to me but didn't knock me down. Thank God! Then I sms-ed my friend, saying I'm alive! Hallelujah!

The next was yesterday, also Saturday night, I was really stubborn and insisted to run, it's my principle to run in what ever condition after I've register for the run. Thus, I took whatever medication that is prescript to me by doctor a few hours before the run. I was taking it as experience, 1st time night run, also a challenge running in not-so-well condition. I really thought it was okay, I only cough a few times before the run started, I'm already in the 'kandang' by that time waiting for flag off.

It was fine during the run, I was running as if it was in the morning, keep running as usual, and stopped at drinking station to drink water. Everything was fine until I finished the run. I was searching for plain water, but couldn't find one, waited for the 1901 hotdog, then proceed to goodies bags collection. I realized I was really tired, no choice, I have to drink the 7up revive (not cold, normal room temperature) from the goodies bag. I was gasping for air, hoping for plain water. After finish eating the hotdog with 7up revive, I didn't feel good, I felt more thirsty. There come my sis brought her water bottle of plain water, I drank it. No changes, I still felt the dryness at my throat, thirsty.

After all the laughter and picture taking, I felt my stomach aching. Ouch! So painful that I rushed to the Maybank's toilet. In the midst of rushing to the toilet, 50 meter of fast pacing, I started to slow down as I'm losing my sight and hearing bit by bit (it was the scariest moment of my life), this continued until I reached the toilet and I hold on the toilet door, The vision was blurred, I went to the Male's toilet (realized it after I saw a man standing there) then I turned back to the female toilet, I was standing at the entrance, it wasn't clear, but I could catch that someone saying behind me, "Hello!", it meant to ask me to excuse myself from the entrance, then I moved in a little bit, standing a while, I'm still waiting for my turn, then this lady asking, "Are you okay? You look pale." (So kind of her, thanks for asking) I shook my head. I couldn't speak, maybe I have no energy to speak. Then I went in the toilet immediately, seated on the toilet bowl, waited. I asked Jesus for help. I don't want to stuck in the toilet with little vision and hearing. I barely see and hear any voice/noise. It was silent or just I'd totally lose my hearing. I didn't remember I lose my sight, there is a moment of darkness. Those are symptoms of fainting, but I didn't actually fainted. I was still seated on the toilet bowl. I silently speak from my heart, repeatedly, "God, help me! Jesus help me!" (I just haven't give up my life yet, since I still have the will power to survive and asking God for help - Even though I always say "I'm ready, take me anytime" It just different this time that I realized I'm not ready to die!) This experience reminded me of Justin's stuck in the lift twice experience, he felt that he's dying, yet he is not ready to die yet. Then slowly, my sight and hearing were restored, bit by bit, until it's totally clear both eye sight and hearing! Sweating, cold sweats. I thought I was fine, so I went out, washed my hands. And walked out. There my sister walking to my direction, out of sudden I felt my stomach aching. Since, they're still hanging around the place, I took her advice and went to toilet again, this time, my faeces came out. Released! I thought I was alright. However, it's not over, while we were walking back to the car, I started to lose my sight and hearing again. So scared, that I put my arm hand on my sister's shoulder. I think I was pale again. She said, "Why your hand so cold?" I didn't answer, "I just manage to say in louder voice, repeatedly, "I'm losing my sight and hearing!", meaning to ask her to hold me tight. She led me into the car, I seated. As the car moved, I felt the pain on my stomach again! Crying in the heart, "Please reach home as fast as possible!", I need the toilet.

Quickly, rushed into the toilet and released! Finally, it's over for that night! Bathed & ate and slept.

Lesson learned, I shall never run on medication and while I'm still sick. It drained off all my energy. It's madness, totally life risking experience and totally inadvisable! This experience had built me up, added in my life to use for good in the future...

I finally understand the frust and fear that the late Marie Curie felt when whe lost her eye sight and hearing during her younger time (not a good feeling), and survived for years after that.

Thank God for saving my life again and again! I must really appreciate this life and live healthyly...I'm having flu though...rest well...

I'm hoping for better Saturday nights in future...

a conversation with stranger

So long in my life, I don't remember I ever have a conversation with a stranger...really a total stranger to me, it's my 1st and my last (the conversation that makes me feel good).

It's normal for those who stays in the city and it's part of a journey in life that, at one point you will move to school out from your house, from kindergarten to university. During the learning process, you will come to group discussing where, each and every one shares their points and views. From there the friendship builds, some will last long, some will just end there.

It was a fine Thursday, I finally decided to collect the vests & bibs for the Siemens run this coming Sunday. I was thinking in my mind that it will be a mess like what happened during Standard Chartered collecting days. As what I did the last time, I went there by STAR LRT, stopped by Masjid Jamek station and walked to Dataran Merdeka (Merdeka Square).

However, it turned out better than what is expected, where there were this man who will not stop from asking whether everthing is alright in every 5-10 minutes to make sure, the collection and distribution is doing well. I would like to thank the Siemens run organizer for haherving such man. Besides, there were 2 tables ready with Men & Women vests & T-shirts samples for us to see before we make decision on the size. The tables also served as a place for us to double check, make sure everything is collected especially the bibs.

First, I went to the F category, to collect my brother's bibs and t-shirt. The things were efficiently handed to me :)

Then I moved to bulk collection, where there were another 22 pieces of vests & bibs to be collected, 11 for (Men Open) A category, and 11 for (Women Open) B category.

This was where the waiting started, this man in front of me were waiting to collect vests, t-shirts and bibs. I guessed he have been waited a few minutes ago, while I was still looking at the vests size for the men category. It's just difficult for me to decide what size to take for them.

Just a few seconds after I passed my collection paper to the person in-charge, the conversation started. This man is helping more than 30 people to collect their things, should be double of the amount that I'm collecting, that's why waited for quite some time. He looks pleasant in his office attire. The person in-charge seeing me waited for a while offered a chair for me to sit, so kind of them (big applause to the Siemens Run organiser).

While waiting, this pleasant man started to asked me whether I went for the previous BHP run, as he saw me taking the bag to collect the vests, etc. I asked for repeat, because I could get what he asked at the first time. Then, I answered, "Yeah, I went." Then, I replied, "How about you, do you?" Then he nodded, started to asked when I started running, I said 2 years ago. "Wow, you are my senior then!" he exclaimed. I was shocked. As the conversation still going on, while waiting for the vests distribution, he asked about the coming running events and whether I'm participating. And I asked him the same thing. Seems like he's joining most of the running events, he shared a good testimony to me. He was a 80 kg weight man, he said he was scolded by doctor, because he is not having the right weight for his height. I don't know how tall he is (about Albert's height, 165-170 cm?), obviously is taller than me. That's why he started to join marathon, he was dragged by his friend and in one year time, he has changed. He looks fit in his office attire, if I remember correctly, he mentioned his weight is 60 kg now. I was amazed, for he has changed so much just by joining marathon. He even went for the Sundown 42 km night run in Singapore, he said he still prefer morning run. Night run was more difficult and tiring compared to morning run. He is used to morning run. He did asked where did I normally practice, I just said Bandar Tun Razak. So he shared that he always practise with the pacesetters people in Bukit Aman every Sunday. Man with much passion for run than I do. I did but, just that I seldom practise, always rely on the weather. Then, he mentioned that his car window was broken once in Seremban during one of the run. Well, it did happen in Malaysia every now and then especially during running event. I guessed he joined as the pacesetters members since he talked about the website.

So, the conversation ended when his collections arrived. It's time to wait for my collection. He still checking his collections at the table provided.

Then he left after finish checking all the collections, while I was checking mine at another table, there he bid good bye. There gone the pleasant looking man. He mentioned that he's going back by train. Well, me too, but we are going separate ways (I guess). Well, I would say it's a good conversation, I guess I seldom meet people like him who talks about himself (I did, but it was online during chatting session). It's so much different between talking face to face, and communicating online.

I slowly walked to the station with the collections, while sms-ing people to collect the vests and bibs from me.

Then, the night I went for the NS camp in Semenyih for visiting and doing the Youth Alpha course. I was taking the ice-breaking session. The NS participants are total strangers to me. Help me! I was screaming inside my heart. In midst, Rachel and Kah Heng did helped me in calming down the NS participants. They are young, active and naughty, hardly calmed them down. I supposed to scheduled a few games, however, it turned out that I only have time for one type of game. Anyway, I hope they enjoy themselves.

It really took a lot of courage for me to start and kind of leading one of the group during discussion. My group consists of the people from East Malaysia, Sabah & Sarawak. It goes on well during the discussion, obviously the ladies take charge of the group, 4 of them plus 3 men who were shy and quiet most of the time. Maybe is because I'm leading, I guess it would be the other way if a man is leading the group. There were 2 young men who doesn't know what is Alkitab (Bible), also were the quietess men in the group. Both of them are from Sibu, Sarawak (they are Ibans, as I saw some tatoos on their bodies).

The rest, 3 girls from Sabah, one of them from KK, while another girl and a man, both from Kuching, Sarawak. This Kuching girl is planning to work afther the NS (don't know what field). And the KK girl is planning to study Management. The men in my group are too shy, or is it me? I only managed to talked to this man from Kuching, he reminded me of one of the man in my secondary school (who was much matured than him, just that they look alike). He just said he sleeps during free time, because not enough sleep and tired, he did miss his family though. Unlike those staying in Subang who can go back home every now and then, during holidays.

The girls shared with me their activities in NS camp. They did enjoy themselves, meet new friends. Usually in the morning they will attend class, then towards the afternoon/everning they will start to march 'kawat' and play flying fox. (So nice! I haven't try flying fox, while they are doing it almost every evening!) It should be fun. I missed it! They did go to church on Sundays.

The facilities are not really good or bad, just slightly better than orang asli's house. I wonder why the lighting in the toilet not functioning at night, where they need to depends on the natural sunlight. Maybe only one of the toilet is like that.

There is one rule where we (visitors) are not supposed to step on the ground, the place where it is meant for them to march. This brings me back to my secondary school memories, where we have to wear the soldier attire every Wednesday and stay back for marching in the afternoon. At least I went through those difficult times, it's really a once in a lifetime thing that I appreciate.

incomplete puzzle

It was found after it was 'burried' on top of my brother's wardrobe for a few years, it was covered nicely with white 'mahjong' paper, then with classic black garbage bag ourward, and it was nicely tied.

One day, out of curiosity it was untied, and the dust on it was dusted with the old feather duster made of/known as 'chicken feathers'. And it was made lied on the balcony floor for a few minutes for photo shoots and 'sun basking'.

There the incomplete puzzle lied on the floor to breath new air and feel the sun shine on it. It was left incomplete but glued a few years ago, even before it was shifted to this new place, new house. Flashed back, it should age more than nine years. No wonder it was left 'unframe' even after a long journey from old place to new place. It's just because, just because it's incomplete...only one piece of it was lost, perhaps in the old place, old house...what a waste, what a waste?

Not knowing how to deal with it, once again it was left on top of his wardrobe, covered with the same white mahjong paper, and a new black garbage bag...maybe a few years later it may be untie once again out of someone else's curiosity...hopefully by then the puzzle is solved, completed, and framed!

One Month To Live

Currently reading : One Month To Live (Thirty Days To A No-Regrets Life) by Kerry & Chris Shook

I started my Day 1 today :)

Questions of the day from the book:

1) As quick as possible, without thinking too hard or too long, make a list of five things you'd change about your life if you knew you only had a month to live. Choose at least one to begin changing today, right now.

2) Describe how you would like your life to be different at the end of reading this book. What drew you to open these pages in the first place? What's going on in your life now that has prapared you to think about who you are and why you're here?

3) Tell at least one other person - friend, family member, or co-worker - that you're reading this book. Ask that person to circle on the calendar the date for one month from today and ask you then how your life has changed. (doing this right now, who is willing to help me?)

IPOH

I- interesting

P-place

O-of

H-hope

Good place of food, more delicious and cheaper than K.L.!

Visited places like cave: Kek Look Tong, shopping centre: Ipoh Parade, restaurants, 'Big tree root', a place to eat and drink, hawker food.

Food & beverages: chicken floss 'hor fun', 'yong tau fu', asam laksa, mixed fruit juice,

'lobak', popiah, fruits rojak, octopus with 'kangkung', fried 'kueh tiau', chucken floss 'pong peah' 'kaya kok' .

Thanks to Ms. Kelly, sister's friend who brought us to interesting places (UTARian who graduated years ago, studied accounting).

Run and run

Run no. 1 : Larian Antidadah Sempena Hari Antidadah Antarabangsa

Venue: Dataran Putrajaya

Distance: 7 km

Weather: Fair

Time recorded: 50 minutes

Emotion: Happy and satisfying

Fee: RM 5

Position: 21

Comment: Great! Good organiser, cheap and good deal. Brought back medal, certificate, breakfast pack: sandwich, soya bean drink, bottled mineral water, t-shirt, and face towel. The run was okay, nice Putrajaya views.

Will I join again next year? Yes.

Run no. 2: Ipoh International Run (IIR)

Venue: Stadium Indera Mulia, Ipoh

Distance: 10 km

Weather: Rained

Time recorded: 1 hour and a few seconds (My PB)

Emotion: Happy but unsatisfying

Fee: RM 10

Position: 73

Comment: Good! Not so good organiser, t-shirt limited to first 5000 participants only (I registerd late, therefore, no t-shirt), time wasted while waiting for the registration, also during collection of medal and certificate (people pushing, squeezed, screamed, especially boys from secondary school - this makes mae believe that they are not taught of moral and etiquette; bad behaviours, simply no manners, sorry to say this but this is what happened, it was bad until the RELA came to help, but no changes as the boys is like hungry begger chasing after food when they were 'chasing' after the man holding the certificates, simply crazy, acting like barbarian).

Drink station were good, all in line. Was the last 3 person who run in 10 km category, we were late! (thought the organisation will cancel the run due to rain quite heavily before flag off) After a few thoughts and decision made to run, wasted 5-10 minutues, to wear the tag on wrist (which makes us look like things for selling), heading towards the starting point and started running. Ran in the rain for first time. Chasing after others of the same category. Was fun, met Joyce! :) Poor Joyce who waited 30 minutes before the flag off. Water station was good, fresh cold water, and sponge station a few kilometers after that). This event has made the Ipoh's society lose face.

Will I join next year? No.

Paper bag was given to put in the bibs, and receipts. (Reminds me of McD bag)

Mysterious Moth

It was fine day, until the night when the mysterious moth flied into my room, as my room is open widely: windows and door are open, it landed at a few places: curtain, behind bed, files. Then out of fear, the moth flied and "pang" hit by the ceiling fan and dropped to my jeans short.

Poor moth, it was left there until the next morning, because it was thought to be fainted, however the mysterious moth died.

Brother exclaimed, "Grandma came to visit us!"

Others said, "Ya, right."

Maid said, "Ada rezeki." meaning 'good luck', 'profit', or 'earning' in malay.

I reacted, "LOL, as if la. It's just a moth."